Popping into my head like a stray ball was a seventh grade memory. Sharp as a blade was Ms Wiener, four feet, ten inches tall, and always ranting.

What the hell kind of lousy song is that, she asked one day.

To repeat the poor Bangles, she said, another manic Monday … that's my fun day, my I don't hafta run day….

There I was humming along when she took the simple-minded lyrics, threw them under her boots and stomped a few times. When the song was full of holes she dropped into her teacher's seat, swiveled to face us, then asked, OK, who is going to cut my hair?

No kidding, one of the girls got up and did it…

A recent back-and-forth about the dogs:

A friend asked me, how goes it?

Who the hell knows. Holiday shopping and they're canceling orders because the mailing address is different than billing, Shitheads!

Well… that's a bunch of shit indeed...straighten them out! (Joking) I didn't think you knew my address.

Ha! Well, be expecting my dogs...I have had it for the year...

Uh oh… bring them to mom's house.

Four dogs in a car is like sitting in a blender, thanks.

Four dogs…I'd imagine they are BIG dogs too...Great Danes? Rotties? I know they're not poodles!

Lab, husky, shepherd...pug. That last one sorta lands with a thud.

I can't see you with a pug for some reason... (I am really fond of him, by the way).

OK, holidays shopping aside, I really do need a break in many ways. The sky dropped some of its first chilly flakes, temperatures went from 40 degrees to less than twenty between 6 pm and 10 pm.

A day's worth of rain shorted the engine out. Lots of noise and no spark. The truck started the next day -- thank you Jerry -- so I turned it around on the slope, opened the passenger door, and a wave of water fell out. By morning the driver's door had frozen shut. I was able to hop in the passenger's side and as I drove away I thought, let me try opening the door from the inside!

Great! It opened! But would not click shut.

I drove to work with the wind sucking at the door and yanking it from my hands, but held the lever tight tight tight until I began to worry the damn thing would pop off in my fingers.

At work I say, Scott! Gotta bungee cord?

Would you believe his answer? Sure, behind the driver's seat. I have a whole bag…

So I drove home with a bungee holding the door shut. I stretched it from the door handle to a notch somewhere behind me.

I called Jerry: It's not going to slip out of the coil and whack me in the head, is it?

Oh my God! Is there anything else you could worry about, he asked?a

Let me think…