Monday, December 9, 2013


My friend
What you have is not whole

Sunrise is blinding and long
Days grow strange without sleep

Winter's ice coats a Christmas tree
Love me?

Life is just a pebble
Throw it

I awake wondering...

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Four Dogs On A Free Afternoon

Lemonade light washed over stones
we hiked through a burst of dry falling leaves 
from shadows in a shallow valley i pushed higher
autumn colors played tricks on me
old field stones sat waiting uphill
a home without walls 
just remnants now -- a cast iron stove, old ceramic utensils, and no one anywhere that remembers
the pug stumbles toward me and sits where mossy ground is warm
i tell him, if you want the sun, go up…
and we were up
a high point with horizon all around
wrapped in forest walls where the breeze steals my voice

I have not liked my words much lately, but I remember reading that even bad poetry , for example, is something.
What is creativity? Every day is a story. I remembered the way sunlight rippled on Lily's fur. The other dogs found comfort on soft moss or heat soaked earth where they stretched and sniffed autumn's breeze. Calling to Hershey, my voice vanished in the wind.

Solace on a simple day.
Going to hand out candy later and serve a few beers. 

Closing time -- a gentle neon low light, background blues and a glass of wine.
Solace on a simple night.

Wednesday, October 9, 2013

Cyan Pales 

The day's sapphire died in a cranberry sunset

you're just another heartache
you'll fade too

Autumn's lavender and cinnamon day
was quick to give her light away

i saved a photo of you
a tide that won't come back


I want to say a thousand things. I want words in an avalanche, but my thoughts are quiet. My lips silent.

Maybe I should just push my fingers along the keys.

Halloween is close. Maybe I can get outside myself awhile...

Friday, September 13, 2013

Just Keeping The Thoughts Moving

I was falling 

my heart
your beat
your breath
my less

i am no good at this


I have been keeping these words quiet for days, thinking more might be coming. Apparently they are a worm, not a caterpillar….

So much on my mind. Happy Friday. Happy 13.

Monday, September 2, 2013

thin sliced

I never knew you
or how you looked in mixed up shadows
choppy light through window shades

I never soaked you in --
just me watching you toss your shower towel to the floor

I never knew you
and the hundreds of girls you told me about

What kind of phantom did you make
stumbling at dawn a dancing drowsy shuffle back to bed
what kind of love is that?

You laughed and wondered what I would think
if I ever knew you
what kind of love is that?

Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Cool Nights

just a kiss

of silk 
of fire 
i'll die without it

i remember you

I was dreaming of Cape Cod sunsets as a kid standing on the shore when my father asked, can you hear it? A perfect orange into a perfect sea.

Remember summertime ringing in your ears and sand in your hair? A funny glance from a funny boy who came closer and closer.
Remember September's broken heart? 

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Forget it

I sit alone with my wine
hopes crashing like delicate keepsakes

My heart feels like concrete
a subtle blending of stones
maybe I'll find you to smash it again

Each beat is a battle
but the sun rises up and then it falls down
i feel like doing the same thing

I remember your laughter
in my head like a bomb
your kiss a stab I should



I rode tonight in an August like autumn with gentle wind telling me something. Keep going. Shadows fell an inch at a time building darkness.

Tuesday, June 25, 2013

That's Me, On The Right

He died tonight in the middle of a hot, sticky day as wild asters burst open and coral tea roses bloomed. Our town police dog is now part of the organic things that grow and fade, and grow again. Rest, my friend. 


Dawn's blush lit the sky -- scarlet stained as sunrise came.
Honeysuckle bloomed and the air smelled like a cotton candy summer day.
From tight buttons to reds and deep blues flung wide, my flowers bloomed.

Without waiting for Monday's heat to fade the lightning came.
It flared. Thunder boomed. I thought of something beautiful and brief. A daylily. Open then closed, with fleeting orange in between. Life and death in the flower beds.

I have been silent inside. I keep my hands busy and I keep the dogs busy while I wait. For a word, a whisper, a broken phrase just to get things turning.

Sometimes I start with borrowed thoughts, then purge them for my own.
Sometimes words tumble out from nowhere.

I toss unfinished vodka and tonic from the glass. Maybe it's the ice hitting the sink at closing time. Maybe it's sudden rain on the window. A sight or sound or nothing at all might prompt a thought -- maybe a song about rumpled love letters or a blood red convertible pulling into the pizza place -- its open sign shimmers pink pink pink.

A friend went out on his boat today. He laughs at me because I don't own a bathing suit. He wonders if I even float.
Like a stone, I said.

I showed him a photo of smoothed rocks on Lake Zoar's ragged shore.
I said, that's me, on the right.

Monday, May 27, 2013

Here And There

I threw you my heart
as you looked away

i got love in my eyes
but it's missing in our kiss

i think it's time to go

a girl's gotta worry
about the days and years that wear down her soul


She was an old woman waiting for morning
fresh coffee and a worn red chair

years ago her husband died 
and she spent her days looking back instead of ahead

the sun pushed through old curtains and found an old woman
waiting for morning


I've been cranky, he said
i knew what he meant

gotta find something that satisfies you, I told him
and it's not something from other people
it's gotta be you

Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Just A Way Finder

Does everybody cry
the way i do

when wind slaps dreams around
are they scared too

does everybody feel
emptiness like pain

cold as a stone at night
do they wish your name

With a toothbrush in my hand I watch Lily's ears perk toward a battered tennis ball. She'll attack it again when the shadows move.

Why do the words disappear when i want them most?

Monday, May 13, 2013

Waiting Forever For A word Or Two

I said I love you
but it blew away in the wind

i tried to reach for you
but the dream was too thin

you're an echo
an echo
a name i'll keep saying
as it blows away in the wind

We lost our radio connection at the bar. In a panic of silence i rummaged through the mop closet for CDs I had seen stashed a few years before. Finding just one, I have listened for days to Badlands a rendition of Bruce Springsteen's Nebraska. Covers of his songs by other artists are haunting. The sorrow is beautiful as I stock beer bins and empty my wine glass.

My thoughts fly everywhere, but never break free from you. You tether me to something. Someday and somewhere.

Friday, April 12, 2013

On A Rainy Friday Afternoon

I was watching wind write poems on the sea
falling in love with pink scrub roses and dunes
their sugar scents and a sliver moon

i want to give my heart away
a bottle, a pen, a note afloat to you
on an outgoing tide on a rainy afternoon

Thursday, April 11, 2013

The daffodil’s sudden yellow made me gasp in the morning sun
where yesterday there was none

i’d give a penny for his thoughts
a lifetime to his dreams
if they were about me

but sometimes dreaming in the wine
isn’t worth my stained lips

i would give a lifetime to spend a day in the sun
dreaming in black and white shooting stars
find love like lightning
where yesterday I had none
got a shiny penny for that?

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Snippets From A Sunday

At closing time the blues man played
head bent and heart like a rainbow, he sang

one of these days i'll catch the right train
one of these days i'll do it for me

i hear those guitar notes again
rising like an April sun unlocking me

how does it happen
a tornado inside me

under a new moon's dark pools 
your soul like a mountain came 
in a fog i thought you might love me 
but the hot pink light outside the bar went out again

years and months could go by
but a day will come
to put you down
to walk away and be done

don't you have somewhere else to be
somewhere that you'll forget about me

A dying day's light shined on the lake
you thought you might love me

watching steam on my coffee cup
i knew it was time
a tide rolling away

my things stuffed in a bag 
i felt like nothing 

one day i'll catch the right train
one day i'll do it for me
a waterfall inside me

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

I Made A Promise To Spit It All Out

I kept staring at the full moon
like it could hear my question
like i could hear its answer
as if it understood me
just by shining on me
from far away 
why why


Justin hated the lesbian. He slammed doors and banged chairs around while she made coffee. 
He said, who asked you to come in? She filled her lips with the first light, sweet sip.
I snagged the newspaper before Justin could rip out the crossword.
The lesbian and I sat with steaming mugs on a weary couch on Saturday -- early sunlight on her skin almost gave her away. 
But nobody knew just by looking at her. 
Nobody knew her inside. 
No one could tell who she needed to be when someone like Justin woke up angry.
I mean, what do you do with a guy banging around in early September when he realizes that the girl he jammed last night -- shrouded in cigarette smoke with his heart pounding in his ears -- was a lesbian?

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

Starting Small, Just Like Spring

Dawn stirred
spring slid with the sun across winter's dead fields

leaves trembled over hard ground
it held everything 

she whispered its name
raising green from the soil again
begging life from the clay

Monday, March 18, 2013

Throwing Pennies At It

A neon sign burned red holes in the night
I wiped away spilled beer remembering unfinished hopes 
remembering you

I tried fitting you into words but got lost
thought I would take a chance
like sunrise i would just happen suddenly 
warmth and light
but it wasn't right 
not this time

so I stuck my heart in my hands and let it burn
i cried and wanted you
saw my reflection in the well
started throwing pennies at it

Spring will dawn in a few days; she'll lift her head and bloom.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Ink babble, and a lot of it…

Can you put it together
add light to the stars

can you see it in pieces
bringing shine to a pearl

a poem a song a prayer
from a girl


look, i just sit alone
with a pen and drinking wine

you made me happy
like everything new

sunshine and rainbows
and god damn summer dew


do you keep the bottle
and all my bleeding notes

do you feel happy
the smell of cigarettes in the rain and old smoke

i still wear your sweater 
in a silver fall rain

we wait for darkness 
for the end of a day


it's spartan in here
i guess you can't see
a pastel plaster corner
where i kept no TV

propped up on coke and war memories
you threw Johnny Walker at the door

listening to music
who plays this peace creep stuff anyway


love's a cold weather game
giving out little bits of heart
little broken crumbs


Stars were sliding slowly on a blackened sky while small and far below i waited for a sound or spark or hint of light.

Saturday, February 2, 2013

Light n Sweet

You live like a ripple
i live like a stone

i can't think about you
all i do is cry
i just want to touch you
i want to feel whole

i dream your name as i sleep
like it's something i stole
your eyes shine with longing
i should have given you control

but if i think about you
something crumbles inside
i remember your laughter
soft cotton laughter

i live like a shadow
you live like the sky

but one day i'll find you
one day i won't cry

Wednesday, January 30, 2013

Almost Love

let me just hurt tonight
i ran out of words for you
love isn't love
and true isn't true

i ran out of words for you
but the rain is coming
i smell it on the wind
whipping and screaming like a train

just let me cry tonight
what could i say
love like a waterfall washing away

but love isn't love
and true isn't true
i ran out of words for you

or maybe i do
believe in a kiss like sunrise breaking the day


Wednesday, January 23, 2013

I Used To Be On Fire

he smiled
i loved him
i told him everything i had
but time started slipping
he stopped coming home

i stood alone in the cold
a swollen moon chased Orion
the two of them dancing forever that way
they've done this before
the lead and the follow
the heart and the hollow

i used to be on fire

i tore out the phone and died when he left
a long time of crying and beer
and strangers 
over and over were strangers staring at me
touching my hair
it's like they could see it
my broken light 

i used to be on fire

i locked the doors and cried myself raw when he left
i loved him
never pictured the end
then i saw his eyes 
her red hair mirrored there

he said he was leaving
the memory still stabs me

i used to be on fire

the heart and the hollow
such a perfect pair

It was a long time ago, but I feel it again. Beautiful love somehow changing.

Monday, January 21, 2013

So Tired Of This Unfinished Song 

I needed to spin in the softness
taste candy on your lips
i propped you up in butterscotch and fantasy
love me?
i don't even know you
just footprints in the snow

corner me
kiss me
push your hands through my hair

turn me and spin me 
the sun is still down
i trampled through midnight's fresh snow on the ground
spin me and kiss me

shattered diamonds around
spin me and hold me
dusty prints stamp the ground

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Asking The Sky

Daybreak stains the horizon -- she wipes tangerine streaks low on a waking sky. 
I am here again, where I have always been at my window throwing wishes at the dawn.


I look at a half moon in the sky
tracing empty hearts against the night
the stars never answer
if you'll ever be mine

I only want a couple things
happy and satisfied

Friday, January 18, 2013

If I Was Not Drinking I would Be Crying

I got trouble
it eats away at me
how do i pay off my sorrows
and all the things that haunt me

i fell in love, you know how it goes
rainbows and daydreams
but oh, the troubles

reach into your guts for everything you've got
and use it like a bomb
do it again tomorrow, promise me
easy as stirring coffee
it's a never-ending wave
a dawn forever breaking

if freedom ever comes it might be more than i can do
hold my hand

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Just A Cold January Thought

tears on my cheeks
a dirty wine glass

can you tell me if i could be
something to you

the music ended
i had these empty dreams 

tell me 
what good could i be to you

i stay up at night
pour myself a glass
tell me
what am i to you

sinking sun and wintry cold
who am i to you

i feel like a stone
gotta take back my levity
gotta shine like a lighter soul

what if i never caught your eye
tell me
between me and you


Again, i promised myself and my dormant writer's heart that I would throw a few words on the page. Didn't say I would bring them to life again, but I will get there.

Monday, January 14, 2013

I got this broken poem…

a wintry soul
nobody's fault
love grows cold
love grows cold
no one's fault but my own

where did it go?

your laughter was a sunrise
your touch was like a flood tide
gotta tell you that i'm angry 
gotta tell you that it hurts

can you let me go
just let me go

the winter sky is raining
let me go
just let me go


They held hands under an umbrella on the sidewalk in the rain. A woman and her child moved up the library's steps Monday, and left me wondering.


I have not been feeling it lately, but I will write things down. that's gotta do more than nothing at all…

Monday, January 7, 2013

A Midnight Thought

My roadkill heart
messy eyes
i love you
my soul's undressed

fingers like vines
your dagger smile
i love you
A long time ago in anger he told me, you don't have to like it.
I don't.

beautiful sunlight on vanilla snow is just an impression you know

i've got a bucket of stardust
i've got dreams to share
we can start so slow so slow
press against me
see where we go

timid smile
honey on my lips
take a sip
gentle gentle gently
fill gaps i can't see
quiet quiet quietly

shooting stars flew
five overhead and i remember you
under a sullen January moon
orange on the horizon and drifting over town
tossing shadows around me
quiet quiet quietly
Life's a riot sometimes. Like when you're sitting in the car in the cold with breath misting quiet air. You just wanna throw your whole life out there in a rush, a stone in the well, but you don't.
I would write more, but I am just not feeling it. The words are all so forgettable to me. The spark is missing. That little snap of life that warms you forever or burns you down.
A new year started and I need to get my head back in it. Gotta dust off the sadness and pry my soul free.

Wednesday, January 2, 2013

For You

i love you, no matter what happens
and you’ve always been right
about our life 
the snow 
the sunrise
good things that fall apart
you say i’ve gotta grow up

bloodshot eyes 
i'm coming unglued

whatever happens, i love you


I got a debt i can't pay
he loves me so much

he's crying at me
just being myself
but not enough

i got this debt i can't pay
says i don't kiss him anymore
and doom at my door

got this debt that's so heavy
i think i'm afraid

dull eyes and tired face 
so am i, he tells me


sometimes things gotta change
water to ice
clouds to rain
things don't always stay the same

i feel it coming
such a slow tide

sometimes things gotta change
smoke to fire
dusk to black
things we got don't always remain