On hands and knees scratching at the earth…this and other incomplete things bounce around my head today.

Pieces of a dream stick with me: I am separating my hair for braids.

Still chasing a smell in my memory.

I have not been too contemplative today, or observant. I think I was wandering around staring inside at my imagination, thinking about the camera and lighting set up I plan to use in a couple weeks. I do not want to arrive, hook things up, position poles and flashes, a tripod and umbrella, and find a battery is dead a light is out or too bright or too new and beyond immediate comprehension two volunteer models dressed as I have asked wasting their time out here at the beach in the state park getting irritated. My damn flash won't work.

The anxiety is perking up as the work increases. Anticipating plans to come is like watching the 30-foot wave rise up to first cast its shadow across my dazed face.

The shadows have not returned to my peripheral, but I keep thinking I am catching little movements that grow still when I whip my gaze across the room. Little giveaways.

I am convinced that more sleep, and a dose of hypnosis will solve all.

Lily sleeps at my feet.

Jerry is going away to school for a week but we don't know when. So, I worry. He says there is no point in worrying about things you can't do anything about. OK. So the boat is on fire and the extinguishers are empty...I am still gonna worry.