I want to sponsor an Express Yourself Without Words Day.

To the woman on her cell phone in the gift shop who gabbed like a runny faucet while I waited to purchase a gift certificate: May your skirt get snagged on the door handle as you leave the store and fly away in the wind. May your hair catch fire, and may you sneeze uncontrollably every time you blink.

To the teenage girl who sped past me, oblivious to the deer in the fields and traffic around her: Lift your damn face from your lap where your cell phone sits and look up in time to see the manure spreader blocking your path.

To Lily who grabbed after Hershey's stick and snagged her fur with teeth designed for ripping flesh like perforated notebook paper: I threw an angry punch meant to startle. Nothing. I reached my arms around her neck and bear hugged her. Standing up straight I brought Lily's front end with me and the fight stopped.

Tonight I look at Bandit's one lazy ear flop as he sleeps. Next to him Ozzy's little pug tail unfurls as he relaxes into a rhythmic snoring. Hershey is stretched out and breathing in sleepy little satisfied puffs. Behind me Jerry has his arms thrown outward on the couch cushions. His head is flopped to the side and he sleeps.