Something is crawling around out there.

Stepping outside with Lily I hear water trickling over rocks in the neighbor's yard, Lily's sniff sniff sniff, and the leaves breaking apart under my feet.

Lily finds a spot and soaks it, then trots off toward the shed where an aluminum ladder leans. I still hear the water, her nose, and the rustling of something cornered by the shed, the stone wall, and Lily. It's 10:46 pm and I don't want to see what's in that shadow.

MOVE Lily!

I don't know what it was, but I know who it could have been: a possum, raccoon, or skunk. Those three rummaging foraging bold creatures have lurked at the edges of our patio steeling cat food, ripping through trash, and staring through the glass at us with our noses inches from their defiant little faces and greedy hands.

Today was a day of new words for new medications and new attempts to find what makes Lily sick. While we wait, however, I again put paper towels on my list.

As I set our alarm and sat on the bed with Jerry, Ozzy poked his mini little round pug head up to see us. Bandit was next to us and Hershey kept a spot on the couch in the living room. Lily, who checks in on us, sniffs, then leaves the room. She moves away with the sound of nails against the hardwood. I hear her reach the front door then begin a return lap. Watching the floor to see her shadow enter the bedroom head first, the darkness against white carpet never comes. I stood and peeked around the door to find Lily centered perfectly in the doorway. I hear something like wet, heavy pudding hitting the floor.

I run for the dwindling last roll of paper towels I swallow the giggling. They're downstairs on a bar stool, waiting and ready. Back up the spiral stairs and across the living room and I am back at the doorway where Lily looks at me with her head to the side.

This dog is certainly not house trained.

Reaching for the mess I am laughing in bursts like it tickles. Finally it's funny,

Dad came for Lily today and she went for a walk with my parents. She stayed with them for part of the morning. When Dad dropped her off he left me a note saying, everything went fine and I [Lily] would like to visit again.

I have trouble shaking the dreams dragged up through the murk of anxiety this morning. I passed through my day with a cloud of apprehension crouched on my back and digging in.

Enough. I am falling asleep.